Sunday, April 1, 2012

My head does, but my heart does not.

Rules. I hate them. Yet they are the very thing I and so many others, actually, the entire world, live by. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get away from them. I'm not the rebellious type, but rules aggravate me. I will follow them, most times without question (Call me crazy, I know), but they do not please me. I seem to view them as something placed there only to box me in. Rational thinking tells me otherwise and I eventually come around to that rational side of things, hence the obedience to the rules, but I still hate them. My heart does not understand.

Our world would not be what it is if we did not have rules. We would not have gravity, peace, order, food, or life in a sense. The laws of physics show us that. The world would cease to spin if we did not have rules and things would go all pear-shaped if the rules were just ignored. Chaos and disorder would eventually ruin society and the very core of life would become nearly non-existent. This I understand, this I see, but something inside me still gets annoyed when I'm told I cannot because of a rule.

For example, flying. I rationally know that I, as a human being, cannot leap off a tall building and actually expect to fly if I flap my arms like wings. I know this, but my heart still wants to know what it feels like to freely soar through the air high above the fields and trees. I still get annoyed by the rules that say "you cannot fly" even if their completely rational. I don't understand why we cannot have this joy unless assisted by some sort of mechanical or parachute like device.

I guess if I understand the reason behind it I would more easily come around to the concept of liking a rule. But I have recently come up against some core values that I have been raised with and I don't like them. I don't really understand them. I rationally understand, but I don't really get why I live by them, why I have them, why I obey them. I know that somewhere down the line someone learned a lesson and taught others to learn from their mistakes, but if someone could kindly get that lesson through to me, not rationally speaking, but heart-wise, I would be much obliged.


Anonymous said...

Which rule is that?? I've probably broken it and learned from it, I could tell you lesson after lessons what I have learned. You can call anytime to chat about them. ;) Tami

Rajnish said...

It is the apprehension which always pulls one backwards.