Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Unprecedented Sensitivity

The gentle and rhythmic whooshing settles and stirs the half of me that does not beat audibly. The sudden concentration and involuntary focus becomes an awareness that keeps me calm. For a moment I cannot do anything but sit, sentient of only myself and nothing else.

Although the thoughts in my head are not altogether singular or inadmissible, I remember them clearly as though they were marked off and measured out as an unblended recipe. One overwhelming emotion battles another for space to be played out, winning only out of precise and unadulterated will. Neither my thoughts or emotions able to drown out the subtle pulsation I so clearly hear.

The fluttering of my eyelids provides a resistance to their tightly sealed condition, but not enough to change their position. The quiver at the corner of my lip ceases only once and the shaking of my hands not at all. The shivering maintains its presence well after the initial encounter and only takes its leave when forced.

All of this in a moment.

All of this in me.

All of this now a memory.

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