A Choice

I spoke to a friend today. He, without knowing it, reminded me of the goodness I’d experienced in the Northland. Sadly enough, I’d forgotten a lot of it until he refreshed my memory on some things. I’d forgotten how much fun I’d had. I had been so distracted lately by the bad things and focusing on what I’d lost and have been left without, that the good seemed to be a fuzzy memory that needed some sharpening up. In looking back, the positive most definitely outweighed the negative. I had just lost sight of that and needed a friendly reminder.

It’s funny how we as human beings seem to remember, and hold on to, the bad much more strongly than the good. Sad actually. Is that because when we get hurt it goes so much deeper that we remember it better?

I’m reminded of childhood. So many of us, when we were young, were hurt by one good friend or another. Maybe someone said something cruel, we were bullied, weren’t the favourite, or were simply forgotten about. Yet, majority of us had a lot of good friends, great friends, and best friends. But so many of us forget so easily those good friends and remember so clearly those who hurt us. At least I know I do.

I wonder what in human nature makes us so. We retain our hurts so long, so passionately, and with such fervour that we let them overwhelm us and many times define certain pieces of us. Why? I don’t have an answer to that.

But wonderfully enough, we have the choice not to let those hurts, bad relationships, and unfortunate experiences define us or rule our lives. We can forgive. We can heal. It is possible. No matter how painful, we can overcome. Sometimes, we just need the reminding.