Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Grinding Gears

Today is one of those days that feels ages long, but went by so fast. I got a lot done, but feel as though I accomplished nothing at all. Little things agitated me, but it wasn’t worth expressing that agitation because it would have been similar to a toddler having a temper tantrum over nothing. Did you ever have those days or am I a complete alien?

I’m missing the Northland. Mostly, I’m missing my life and my friends there. Even after yesterday’s revelation and sense of finality whilst visiting the school, I’m still missing it all terribly. I’m pretty sure I sat on the couch pouting about contemplating this for quite a while last night.

Coming to terms with the end of the old season and entering into a new one is always difficult. It’s a transition I’ve made enough times to shake a stick at, but this time it’s worse. This time it’s more real than anything previous. This time it’s harder to “get over”. Maybe because this past season was filled with more preciousness than anything else I knew before it? I don’t know.

I don’t think I want to “get over” it either. I want to process it, come to terms with it, take it one step at a time and deal with it. I loved this season. I grew this season. I needed this season. I want to and have begun to incorporate this season into the rest of my life. So how do you transition gracefully? Because time won’t slow down for me, nor will it skip this part and move me into the next part before it’s time.

I guess I’ll just have to take it one step at a time…

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