Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Thrilling Apprehension

I don’t know what to write. It seems that my posts have been all the same lately, all about leaving this place, moving on, moving out. I just can’t get that off my mind. Each moment of the day these adverse little blips pop up on my radar and mess with my head.

I’m excited to be leaving, but so scared. I have no plan. I have no solid ideas about what I want to do or where I want to go. I don’t want to be a floater by any means, wandering aimlessly through life, but I don’t want to be too tied down either. What if I take something and something better comes a long?! What if what I thought I wanted isn’t what I really want and I’m left screwed over?

I know I will be alright. I’ve got a firm foundation, but I’m still concerned about the looming “what if”. I could do so much, but nothing I seem to have lined up hits home for me. Or am I just writing things off because I’m looking for something to smack me solid in the gut saying “Pick me. I’m the right thing.” Am I being selfish by thinking there could be something better? Should I just take what’s in front of me and stop faffing about?! *sigh*

I just wish life was simple right now. It’s not and it won’t be. It never really is, but isn’t there something that will help me settle for at least a minute!? Nothing I try seems to work. Gah…

Sometimes adventures are just scary…

2 comments:

Kayla said...

I completely understant how you're feeling. Being 22 is hard. I feel like we're in a similar place. Trying to move out, move on, and do something worthwhile with our lives. It's a little scary.

Bulah Socks said...

Ha ha, I could hear your funny accent while reading this one! Too funny Donna. Too funny.